Big Sneaky Barbarian 3: A LitRPG Novel by Seth McDuffee

Author:Seth McDuffee [McDuffee, Seth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Podium Publishing
Published: 2023-12-12T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

FRANTIC DISEMBOWELMENT

As we trailed behind S’Rista, my mind began to churn with the complexity of the portal transportation network. I was always someone to question systems—usually manmade ones, but mostly to consider if there was a way to cheat or bust ’em to pieces. I suppose it was the natural saboteur in me, always trying to find another way around.

S’Rista explained that we would be going to one of two chambers they had. Ours was for what boiled down to inter-country transport, while the other was designed for international travel. That was a really neat prospect. I wondered how many different area codes the things could hit up—and started envisioning an idea for a movie about a bachelor party gone wrong after several hilarious drunken missteps. But … then I realized that I was just mildly altering the plot to The Hangover franchise and promptly banished the thoughts from my clichéd brain.

After several twists and turns through the grandeur of Yosper Hall, we arrived at a massive room. I loudly and unabashedly guffawed at the sight that greeted me within. A motherfucking enormous, shimmering, sky-blue portal stood as its centerpiece, casting a glow that bounced off the marble floor. My eyes widened at the sight. It was one thing to hear about them, but, motherfucking goddamn shit, seeing a portal in action was another thing entirely.

Surrounding it was a long line of people of myriad races … or, species, or whatever—all waiting patiently for their turn like they were buying Taylor Swift tickets. I found myself inspecting the faces in line, noticing the anticipation, anxiety, or excitement that varied from person to person. On the other side was an irregular stream of folks departing—likely returning from wherever the fuck they’d been on vacation or whatever.

Flanking the portal were two individuals who immediately caught my attention. Both were of nonhuman races—one rabbit-like and the other looking sort of like a tall, beefy box elder bug, dressed in long, billowing robes that were indicative of the Mages’ Order. They were carrying out their duties with a solemn sense of professionalism, checking what looked like IDs, then guiding the people through the portal.

I watched as an elvish-looking man stepped forward, presenting his identification. One of the mages checked it, nodded, then whispered an incantation. As the man walked through, the color of the portal fluctuated, changing from its serene blue to a pulsating violet.

“So … I see the colors changing each time someone steps through,” I said, turning to S’Rista. “Is it, like, switching channels?”

She laughed, the sound tinkling pleasantly in the massive chamber.

“If I understand what you mean, yes. Different areas within the Kingdom of Arlo are color-coded based on their portal exit point. The color changes reflect the destination.”

Intrigued, I watched a few more pass through the portal. The colors shifted and flowed—gold, crimson, jade, and so on. Each departure created a mesmerizing light show. A different kind of magic than I was used to, but magic all the same.

The

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